One Lap of America v3

Day Last - End of the Road

2011-05-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday morning and it's taken me a few days to really chew on the disappointment that was/is the 2011 One Lap. Our long trip back included a stop in the Big Easy and a few more horrific roadside meals. A 21 hour leg back home stared us in the face, but home we are.

While Ric, Sebastian, and I certainly made the best of the situation, there is no question that we would have liked to have flogged the little Audi around the rest of the country.
The Flex in lieu was a sorry replacement, but it did give me a peek into what rolling appliances feel like today......hell it even looks like a fridge:/ Regardless of my incessant complaints, we made it back safely to Evergreen on Thursday and have collectively decided to return to the 2012 One Lap.

Better prepared and prepared for triumph, we will be returning in possibly 3 Lotus Elises. Competition will be fierce and I'm already plotting my strategy. In the meantime, I'd like to wish all the One Lappers a prosperous year and I'd like to thank Brock Jr. for yet another great event.

Til next year.
Tony

Day 5: DAYTONA!

2011-05-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

11:52AM EST - Daytona International Speedway...impressive hardly describes this venue and having been here for the 2009 One Lap, the awe has only grown. Unfortunately for us, we're not in a Porsche, Lotus, or Audi, but we're making the best of the sour hand that has been dealt us.

The track opened this afternoon for some parade laps on the track (limited to 100mph) so we decided to roll the Flex out onto the track for some fun. Certainly not made for this sort of thing, but it made it around the track.............frustrating as it was we giggled like schoolgirls as we went high on the high bank, 40ft off the apron.

Riding our bikes on the track this morning and to give an idea of how steep the banking here is made, one can not ride a bicycle on the bank without fallingh off. 40 feet from the top of the track to the apron, it's certainly not a place to spin a car, much less fall off a bicycle.
We're off to the Big Easy today to have some fun on Bourbon Street and to visit our last track of the 2011 One Lap in the middle of the bayou oddly enough. Ric, Sebastian, and I have decided to skip the rest of the event after tomorrow and head home a bit early.

While this year's event didn't turn out as planned, we've already decided we'll be back next year.......better prepared and back with two, if not three Lotus Elises.

Tomorrow, I'm sure will be a bit hazy from the whiskey.
One more update coming with a few added pics.

Day 3 & 4: It's An Imperfect World

2011-05-02T05:08:00.001-07:00

It's an imperfect world as Ric would say. Apropos today with the catastrophic failure of our now beloved S4. Shortly after going through the niceties of welcoming Sebastian to the event, he was quickly summoned into action on the track. One recon lap of the lushly lined track and he was off; literally. The transmission is.........was.

6:50am EST - We're at Chantily Audi somewhere near D.C. and we've just received the bad news that they won't be able to fix the car 'til tomorrow night. Plan B is now in action.....update forthcoming.

8:45am EST - Still in Chantily and in the last two hours, we've managed to arrange shipping the Audi back to Denver and rent a minivan to finish off the event. Hopefully we'll be able to make the event at the BMW Driving Center in Spartanburg, SC this afternoon. The 1 Lappers are currently at Carolina Motorsports Park, and while I was hoping to face my demons there after spinning the car at 100mph two years ago, the face-off, it will have to remain a stand-off:/

In the spirit of One Lap........onward!

11:49pm EST - Onward we've gone and just outside of Daytona Beach, it's taken all of 2 hours for me to again understand how little I enjoy Florida. From the errant highway drivers to the fact that cheese envelopes every meal on any restaurant's menu, to the fact that it's so muggy and humid that even the few remaining strands of hair on Sebastian's head no longer stick up like a character from Fraggle Rock...........Florida just plain sucks.

One saving grace, however, is Daytona International Speedway. A beacon of NASCAR, yes..........but also a beacon of motorsport. Regardless of what it is, we will be there tomorrow morning to return to the event and while the event's rules state we can no longer gain points (due to the change in cars), the event does allow us to drive the tracks:)

The "ACME Rental Car Company" outside of DC gave us a Ford Flex to accompany us the remainder of the trip and while it lacks any similarity to the S4, it trumps the German tart in that the Flex is currently running. We'll be at the big oval in the morning to see what this soccer mom's grocery getter can do (let this be a lesson to anyone who has ever thought to save a few bucks buying a used rental car).

We'll update in the morning as to how things go, but hopefully we come out the other end of the tunnel.

Day 2: David, Goliath, Ego, Wonderment, et al

2011-04-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

11:05pm EST - We're somewhere in the neighborhood of 600 miles into our day and I'm crammed in the back of the wagon with the laptop on my chest trying to ingore the car's stench; the odor wafting through the cabin right now is a mixture of gummy bears, rotten socks, and whatever is coming out of my ass about every 10 minutes. Fresh flowers, it is not.

Such is One Lap. Looking from the outside in, this event's hardships may look to be a matter of studying racetracks, dealing with mechanical issues, and jockeying for a higher standing, but the reality is, the difficulty lies with transfer driving.

While departing each venue gives everyone a shot of anticipation of the next event, and the recent runs on the track leave residual traces of adrenaline, it remains that an hour into each transfer brings myriad issues. Not excluded are boredom, fatigue, restlessness, longing for good food and better company, etc. You can imagine then, there are serious stretches of doubt and bewilderment as to why we have yet again decided to attend this ridiculous event.

There is no tangible prize and climbing up in the standings means little to anyone with the exception of the ego that's screaming that you're better than the guy right in front of you.....of course it's just another way to say Nth place loser, but I digress. Standings are not the point here and while some may find it important to get to Nth place, we stand amongst the teams that have come for reasons mostly unknown. Now on our collective third year at the event, it is different from last which was different yet from the first. The constant has certainly been the racing, but really thinking what brings us back is difficult to pinpoint. Meeting new teams and catching up with old, it really is the weird bond of teams in this traveling car carnival that makes it so endearing. The sophomoric humor and incessant guy-talk is really what this year's One Lap is turning into, and with Sebastian joining the team tomorrow morning at Summit Point Raceway, it will add the last piece of our team; sure to offend most everyone he comes in contact. I suppose it's a good thing he can drive.....also considering it's his car we're beating to shit, it's only fair to let him join in:)

With all that rambled, this morning was the official start of the event and I kicked it off for Team Gay For Bikes with a 39th placing in the wet skidpad event. Much better than my past attempts and much more pleased with my absolute mediocrity. Quickly packing the car, we headed southeast (I think) to Grissom Air Force Base about 80 miles away to try our hand at an autocross event. For those unfamiliar, autocrossing is a discipline that favors small, light, quick handling cars and mostly penalizes hugely powerful cars that have quesionable handling abilities. With our S4, we had very modest aspirations with its 3800lb heft and nose heavy bias. Regardless, Ric took the helm for all three runs and getting progressively faster with each session, he placed 44th, bookended by a Viper in 43rd and a Rousch Mustang in 45th.

Of course earlier I said placings didn't really matter, but egos being what they are (and me being an absolute liar), 43rd loser feels like we conquered some Goliaths.....cheers to slaying a few more tomorrow.

Day 1: Dynamically Jeopardized

2011-04-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

Dynamics, as it applies to cars, is an oft-used term to describe a car's ability to coordinate braking, steering, and accelerating into something that allows the driver to effectively go fast. Now some cars like the Corvettes and Mustangs of the world can put up impressive numbers, but dynamically are considered quite poor. Oversteer is a simple dab of the gas pedal away, steering tends to be distant and making one go fast around a track is a battle in stamping out fear. On the other end of the spectrum are cars like the Porsche Boxster which some many see as a bit effeminate, but inspire such confidence that mediocre drivers in a "girl's car" can typically keep up with the heavy-footed/ham-fisted in ox cart axled Mustangs with double the horsepower.

So just as with cars, our team dynamic is one of finely tuned balance. Sebastian is temperamental, Ric is comedic, and I am either cringing or laughing as dictated by which is talking at any given time. As you might imagine it is difficult to spend this amount of time with anyone outside of our spouses, but it seems our three-person dynamic works quite nicely. The pre-event discussions had Ric and Seb doing the vast majority of transfer driving while I comfortably slumbered away. Unfortunately, Sebastian has been absent to this point as he was on business in parts unknown as Ric and I (mostly Ric actually) drove from our homes in Evergreen to South Bend this morning.

The plan has been for Sebastian to fly to South Bend and we'd all take off from here tomorrow, but as we've all experienced, a flight cancellation kept him grounded and scrambling for an alternate plan. As Murphy's Law would have it, all flights to any airports nearby were booked and had Sebastian contemplating abandoning the event before it even started. The dynamics of our team were in jeopardy. Long story short(ish), Sebastian sloughed off his frustration and found a way to meet us at Summit Point Raceway in West Virginia on Sunday.

Disaster averted and whether our team really drives like a Porsche or hobbles along like an ox cart will be borne out in the next eight days. Tomorrow has us kicking off the event with the wet skid pad where I'll be attempting to beat my miserable attempts of the past; moving along to Grissom Air Force base in the afternoon for an autocross event and finally driving nearly 600 miles to West Virginia to Summit Point.

Cheers til tomorrow.

Dodging Missed Opportunities

2011-04-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

As it applies to the 2011 One Lap of America, it was opportunity lost, then somehow regained. I think we've all been there, and if you haven't experienced it, you've certainly seen it. It's the visiting team hitting the go-ahead home run in the top of the 9th; with the home team on the verge of defeat, there's the lead-off walk in the bottom of the 9th......the agony of a 3 & 2 count with 2 outs and a 2-run home run to catapult the Cubbies.....ahem, I mean, the home team to a frenzied win!

Apologies for the baseball analogy, but I can only assume you get my point. We almost didn't make it to 1 Lap this year, but a last minute email from Brock Jr. (the event organizer) stirred us into action. All be told, Sebastian, Ric, and I had all resigned to skipping the 2011 One Lap due to various lame reasons, and up to 3 weeks ago, none of us were signed up.

Needless to say, here we are three days prior to the event, signed up and ready to "race". With the shortened prep time and lack of any semblance of planning, it's been a scramble to get things ready. As it stands, we have Sebastian, Ric, and me taking Sebastian's Audi S4 wagon to the event. Now some of you may wonder how we're going to compete in a station wagon, but know that the equipment again will not be our downfall, as this particular chariot boasts a 4.2 liter, 340hp V-8. Certainly, it will be our lack of driving skill that keeps us out of the top 20, but with what looks to be a pretty stacked field, I think top 40 would be astonishing.

What may, however, put a bigger burr in our collective shorts may be the 3 grown men forced to tolerate 10 days in a car xizang-ing the midwest to the right coast to the depths of the deep south. This year we will be re-visiting a handful of tracks, but our route takes us from IN > VA > SC > FL > GA > LA > IL and finally back to IN.

As in the past, we've had local competition and it's no different this year. Our friends Eric and Scott will be participating also in an Audi S4........a small inside bet has been made so I'm sure we'll be jabbing at them along the way.

Wish us luck and we'll be sure to keep the posts coming.

Ladies and gents, start your engines!

Tony

Day 10: Fin

2010-05-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

It's 9am Sunday and I'm writing this from the comforts of home. The previous 24 hours reeled by and as predicted, hazy was the appropos description of my mental state from the prior night's 1 Lap ending festivities. While the last event is technically held on Saturday, the prior Friday is when the party starts, and after 3500 miles of road and track, there is not a single team that isn't weary and wanting for a decent meal and some time to unwind. The standings are mostly cemented for most teams so there's little angst about the last event.

Friday night ends up being the time to get together with the teams we've bonded with throughout the week and reminisce about the random happenings and stories of juvenile antics that we all have collected. It's what 1 Lap is really all about. Against most odds, Sebastian and I have retained our friendship....albeit by the narrowest of threads. The morning's event was windblown and slightly damp, but Sebastian pulled off an admirable 31st to land us in 38th overall. Not quite as good as last year, but with the much faster teams, we were both pleased with the result. Considering Ric and Loye finished behind us in 51st, we lay atop the Evergreen heap of 1 Lappers for at least one more year:)

The 17 hour drive home was, as you might imagine, eternally long. Similar to last year, however, the damn cops caught us in a moment's inattention....81mph in a 65mph zone.........crap. I've chalked it up to the price of the event and considering the distances covered, one ticket amongst the two of us is quite lucky. So another 1 Lap completed and while I can say for certain that I won't be doing it again in a Lotus Elise, I can say that Sebastian, Ric, Loye, & I will be at the starting grid, motors revving, again next year.

Thanks to Brock Jr. for putting on another great event, all the great folks who participated, my co-driver, and those who supported us in running the event. Hopefully we'll see y'all at the starting grid this time next year!

Tony

Day 9: Oh Shit

2010-05-07T22:34:00.000-07:00

Pictures lead to questions lead to answers that I don't have....

Apologies for the tease on the pic, but it's been a whirlwind 2 days since the mishap at Nelson Ledges in Ohio. I'm very happy to report that only free range, grass fed, organically massaged, non-genetically altered fiberglass was sacrificed in the making of this blog. No human sacrifices were made and nary a band-aid was used......although if there were a first aid kit to patch a bruised ego, it would have been used to its fullest.

The situation at the track had us running both morning and afternoon events, per usual, but the difference today had the track open to some hot lapping for any of the event's participants. With it being the second to last day, a few of us hopped in different cars as we all wanted to experience the track from a different perspective. I rolled around in a beautiful 1980 Porsche 911SC, while Sebastian offered up (later to his chagrin) Little Skittle to a couple competitor friends we made during the week. Needless to say, it was a wee mistake as I watched the car roll into the pits with some missing teeth. Apparently, John (our new found friend from NY), got a bit squirrely going into a hard left hander and with two wheels off the pavement, the car squirted forward into a tire barrier. To look on the bright side of the situation, no one was hurt and the car was drivable back to South Bend. It's a bit of an ego bender for John, but all things considered, it's just a bit of expensive body work; it certainly could have been much worse.

With respect to the race, then, we started the day in a precarious 38th and finished in 39th to end the day, battling to stay in the top 40 for the week. We were sandwiched between the twin turbo Dodge Stealth and the SVT Lightning and a mere 30 points separating the three of us. Tomorrow's dry skidpad event will determine who stays within the top 40! Sebastian better be on his game because I know that I'll be a bit hazy from the aftermath of adult beverages.

Cheers.

Day 8: Diametrically Opposing Forces

2010-05-06T04:26:00.000-07:00

Imagine how a magnetic train works. Opposing magnetic forces between the charged track & train allow the mass of steel to speed along with near frictionless efficiency. I'm sure you see where this analogy is going as Sebastian and I sit within inches of each other, mile after mind numbing mile. While we, as a team, function for the same purpose, it works well only because I have the power to completely ignore him. The reference to opposing forces are also quite the fitting description as we approach things from totally opposing viewpoints..........high-strung 4 cylinder 27psi turbo vs. slow piston'ed diesel, precise & meticulous vs. sloppy joe messy, good vs. bad.........you get the point. Regardless, our well magnetized team is achieving our modest goals of enjoying the event and ensuring that we will not have to hang pictures of Ric and Loye in our living rooms:) Yesterday's final overall results have Team Rotus in 38th with Team Merlot Magik within viewing distance in 51st.

It's 7:30am, somewhere in New Jersey - On our way to NJ Motorsports Park and back to Ohio's famous Nelson Ledges this evening. I'll update as I can, but it should be another fantastic day of burning dead dinosaurs.

11:30pm - In a shitbox motel with a 6-pack of pibbers. Sebastian was nice enough to finish off today's entry...

We’re nearing the end of day 8 as we snake our way through the Appalachian Mountains on the way to OH (yes, we were there yesterday) from the southern tip of New Jersey. Fighting queasiness from ingesting an incredibly vile slice of PA Turnpike pizza and from the gases being emitted by Tony, who is lactose intolerant, I hope to make it for one more full day of competition before we say our good buys, do one final fast pass through the skid pad circle and I (stress on the I) drive back to CO and the sanity that will restore my body back to health (eventually), both physical and mental.

Today we visited the newly minted New Jersey Motorsports Park. Per usual, we arrived late to the track, as Tony needed extra time to primp (he’s not getting any prettier), so upon arrival, we only had time to suit up, empty the car and get out on the track. On paper, the track seems simple enough, but as with most things that are seemingly simple, it is not. As I took off for my first “warm up” lap, I wished I had gotten more than the 4 hours of vodka induced sleep, as I felt my concentration was fading quickly….not a good thing. I tried to quickly recognize some visual points on the track to help me navigate the two fast, and completely blind turns which I would soon be taking at max speed (mine, not the cars), but as soon as I got to the starting grid, all was forgotten…..damn, I’m going to die. Heart pounding, mind going in several directions, none of this is doing me good, but its my turn to take off and chase the BMW M3 directly ahead of me. I make it through the first blind turn, and instantly I feel as though I may actually survive this,….turn 2 and 3, nailed….damn, I’m really good at this driving thing……the next blind turn coming up, a quick uphill transition, no big deal, gas pedal down, I’m confidant I know where the apex is……except that it happens to be a few feet over, but I’m fully committed, gas foot pegged, and the car stops responding to steering input that I’m frantically trying to dial in and I realize I’m about to run out of tarmac and go for tumble in the dirt and grass….the rear end of is starting to come around, but its hanging in…..I’m doing the opposite of everything I’ve been taught in driving school…..”both feet in”, the ultimate sign of defeat preached by every driving instructor out there, will not happen on this fine sunny day, as I continue sideway (but not spinning) through what is now a fairly spectacular plume of dust, I see the track straight ahead of me, and decide to gun the car for it…..I make it back on track, and I feel as though I’m going as fast as I ever have……adrenaline pumping, I feel exorbitant and triumphant, except I still have two + laps to go…..by the end of which I fall completely in love with the fast, fast, fast track. I come off from the mornings session jubilant and feeling like I have done all that I could have, which is about 1/10^th of what the car can handle. I suck at this driving thing, but in reality I’m the eye candy of this driving duo, not the muscle…..which is Tony Hyunkie Song (that is a for real last name)

This trip is doing nothing to correct Tony’s pear shape, and since he had to give up his weight lifting routine for the duration of the trip, I think the lovely Jen’s (Tony’s much better 7/8ths) biceps will actually be bigger.(vs. the same size; yes this was proven with a tape measure) What Tony may lack in sheer upper body strength, he more than makes up with his sense of humor, and aside from his incessant rants about my body hair, he’s pretty damn good at being a non caring wise-ass. As he suited up for this afternoons run, he stated that he was not going to brake for any of the turns (a comment I appreciated, as we are getting close to running out of rear brake pads and still have two thousand miles to drive) , a comment that one would typically discard, except that we are talking about Tony, a man who believes that a brake pedal is only to be used when doing smoky burnouts at stoplights in his 450hp southern hick express, the Dodge Magnum. As he took off on his warm up lap, people started betting on whether or not we would again see the Lotus with its plastic skin on, and which turn would bring on his demise……faith…..something I have little of….maybe I should change my ways. As Tony took his first hot lap, turn one….screeeeetch……turn two, three, four…..screeetch……we didn’t need to look around, you knew exactly where Tony was on the track…..screeching around EVERY corner, he comes up on a fast 90 degree turn, and executed nearly perfectly, he gets sideways 90 degrees, except that he’s still sliding at 90 degrees after the bend…..we all perform a solid 10 second pant grab (where you laugh so hard you grab your pants at the knees) as we know he is giggling like a little school girl inside the shit box called Lotus. As he is THE man behind the wheel, he manages to keep the car on the track and pulls off a solid finish while managing to not be serious the entire time….should this man ever get serious, he’d finish in the top 10. Until then, if screeching the tires becomes sport, he’ll rule it.

Day 7: I Like Racing Cars

2010-05-05T22:03:00.000-07:00

Racing cars is an odd addiction I’ve come to grapple with. In my situation, there is no glory to be chased, no crowds of adoring fans, and certainly no prize money to be earned. It’s simply a feeling that I don’t get anywhere else. I’ve had my share of track time on motorbikes and I’ved raced bicycles for years, but auto racing is a different animal to me. Time, space, and overall consciousness seem to enter an altered state when piloting a car at its limits at a track. The challenge of mastering the heel-toe shift, steering the car with the go pedal, and gracefully trail braking into a fast sweeper are all things I may never master, but the attempts at getting it right seem worth the time, money, and frustration to get it just right. I know these Zen-like experiences of getting it “just right” can be said for just about any sport, but to me, trying to control four little tires’ contact patches through a Rube Goldberg like contraption known as the internal comubustion engine is simply a magical experience.

I was calm today and conspicuously absent were the flitter of butterflies as I glanced at the track layout. I spoke with a handful of competitors, all with pointers about Mid-Ohio’s tricky aspects. Mostly in one ear and out the other for me as I realized that although it would be nice to finish in the top 30, whether we did or not is absolutely irrelevant and unrelated to the mount of fun I’m having. So while I pushed the car and my limits, I cared little about my placing and more about simply having more fun. The result was a less than average run, but bigger than average grin.

At the end of the day, I had grabbed the glory, pleased the fans, & won the prize money as I slotted in the winner’s circle at 46th place.

PS – I have little to say about Sebastian today except that I've perfected the booby trap made of rubber bands and sharpened KFC sporks. It won’t be pretty, but it will be effective. 

Day 6: Salty

2010-05-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

This is more cathartic venting than 1 Lap blog today so no need to read on if you’re looking for semi-witty, 1 Lap banter.

Last year it took a few days for my hatred for Sebastian to bubble up. By Tuesday’s event last year, we were barely on speaking terms and I had fashioned a boobie trap made of rubberbands and sharpened KFC sporks to 'accidentally' take out his jugular. If only those damn rubberbands didn’t snap, I’d be a much happier man.

Alas, time fades bad memories to leave mostly good and here I sit, one year and five days into the event wondering what the fuck I was thinking. Getting in and out of the car has now turned into a major feat of acrobatics and my creaky joints are protesting profusely. I’ve lost at least 20% of my hearing from the screaming motor immediately behind my noggin (though sometimes I wish I’d lose all my hearing so I wouldn’t hear Sebastian’s latest rant), and the lack of exercise has made me feel like I should make an appointment with Jenny Craig the second I get home. Woe is me.

The day’s results are irrelevant as I type this, but for those who care, we ended the day in 36^th. In battle with a twin turbo Dodge Stealth and a few M3’s, hopefully I’ll make it through the rest of the week without a homicide charge or an extradition hearing.

Tomorrow brings the famous Mid-Ohio racetrack in, of all places, middle Ohio.

Day 5: Fear & Self Loathing in Oklahoma

2010-05-03T23:25:00.001-07:00

6:30am - I awoke this morning feeling a bit unsettled. It was one of those moments we’ve all had in waking abruptly and thinking you’re settled comfortably in your own bed, but the reality of a foreign setting gives that odd sense of bewilderment. It’s a feeling for me that didn’t quite leave.

Today’s itinerary was to employ two very different forms of motorsport. The first at Hallet Raceway was the familiar road course with the afternoon taking us 60miles away to Tulsa Dragway where we’d collectively experience bracket racing. Explanation of the morning’s event is hardly necessary as intuition simply says that going faster is better, but with bracket racing as its known, a baseline time is set and even if you beat someone down the quarter mile strip, you’ll lose if you beat your previously determined baseline; counterintuitive at best and something that a few uninitiated didn’t quite understand, but bracket racing evens the playing field a bit as $20k Honda Civics could quite realistically beat out $120k Porsche 911’s.

8:00am – Hallet Raceway is beautiful in its setting among dense. lush, and aromatic forest made only better by the morning’s bluebird skies and the blended smells of burnt fuel, brakes, & clutches…….a car guy’s utopia of sorts. Sebastian had the morning session and walking the track prior to his run must have flipped a switch in his head as he set a blistering pace of 4:47:76 that cracked the top thirty for the first time placing him in 26^th ahead of some heady machinery like the turbocharged-460hp Cayman S and a pair of super-charged, pavement ripping Mustangs. Impressive, especially considering the very challenging track that offered up many blind and off camber problems. Walking that very same track this very same morning, unfortunately did not flip the same switch for me as I meandered around the track never quite getting in the groove and wishing the morning’s sense of bewilderment would leave me. No such luck as I finished a middling 43^th with a 4:53:81. Lucky for Team Skittle’s placing amongst Evergreen 1 Lappers, Ric had a bit of misfortune in that a Corvette spun in front of him slowing him down by a fistful of valuable seconds resulting in a 5:01:67. Loye followed up in the afternoon session with a 5:06:55 probably thinking that if he died, Heaven wouldn’t be ready and Hell wouldn’t take him knowing he’d take over.

5:30pm – We’re at Tulsa Dragway and we made the decision to have Sebastian run the session. With my poor showing at the dragstrip in the 2009 1 Lap and also with the fact that I was in the midst of a day-long funk, I thought it best to relinquish the remainder of the driving for the day. Good thing as Sebastian’s clean living finally showed its worth in getting the best reaction time of the event at .047 seconds…..a machine could hardly do better. Setting the bar at 14.18 seconds, he won his second run with a 14.20, before “bracketing out” with a 13.98 on the third run. Ric ran the drag for Team Merlot Magik and made it to the 4^th round before being knocked out by a silver bullet of a BMW. Ric’s times were consistently 14.5’s as Merlot Magik and its new heart of aluminum did them proud.

The end of the day left Team Little Skittle in 31^st overall and Team Merlot Magik within striking distance at 43^rd. 6 days remain and much remains on the line but we may have jumped the gun a bit by getting their new mantlepieces already. Suffice it to say that we saw these gems in the proverbial window and they simply begged to be purchased.

10:30pm – Sebastian is getting hangry, evidenced by his growing road rage; I think it’s time to go feed the monster. We have 200 more miles to St. Louis and hopefully we don’t get shot on the way as Sebastian drives with his middle finger out the window. If you don’t see a blog update tomorrow, check the news and please contact our loved ones……well my loved ones anyway. I don’t think he has any.

Day 4: Getting Lucky with Lady Luck

2010-05-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Getting to know a road course takes study, practice, and hours of track time. The challenge that 1 Lap presents is that it allows just one reconnaissance lap, followed by 3 hot laps; hardly enough to learn much of anything. Driving an unknown track, then, can be likened to picking lottery numbers..........there may be method to the madness, but in all reality, it's simple luck and guesswork that gets you the pot of gold.

Simple luck and guesswork, if you don't have hair on the bottoms of your feet that is. Sebastian smoked the morning session by again catching the car in front of him. This time, the victim was a massively powerful supercharged Ford SVT Lighting that I'm guessing was putting out 500+ hp. Regardless, Little Skittle piloted by Big Polak ripped through the course for a 34th place finish. Enough to catapult us to the next faster running group for the afternoon session. As pleased as I was with his result, it eased my nerves little for my upcoming run.

The period from morning session to afternoon was interesting in that I had too much time to contemplate all the track days and training that I've participated in the last year and little of it was going to matter for the 10 or so minutes I'd be thrown on the track. Going with the next faster grouping didn't help my confidence any, but the one solace was that I was the last of the 6 car group to get on the track; meaning I wouldn't be passed and would have a rabbit to chase. The green flag dropped and picking early apex or late, it seemed to matter little as I tossed Little Skittle from one end of the track to the next. I recall little of reality during my driving stint as my mind's focus and physical vision were so myopic that all I could concentrate on was the 20ft patch of tarmac immediately in front of the car. Wrestling the steering wheel was tough considering I have the upper body strength similar to that of a pre-adolescent girl, but at session's end the clock somehow showed an astonishingly quick time! 30th for the session, which brought our standing to 40th for the event. We're creeping closer to our goal and we have another week of competition to sort it all out.

It's 10:30pm and I've managed to retain my sanity for yet another day of Sebastian's incessant ramblings. Tomorrow has us at Hallet Raceway in Oklahoma where I'm hoping we can motorboat Lady Luck's implanted double D's just one more time.

Day 3: Reality Check

2010-05-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

It’s never happened where a 1 Lapper has been seriously injured and hopefully never will, but an incident occurred this morning that gave everyone at the event a moment of serious pause. Canada Corner, as it’s known, is a relatively tight right hander coming off a straight with about a 100mph terminal velocity. A turn that is typically easily maneuvered, but this morning, a 600+ hp CTS-V lost brakes going into Canada Corner that resulted in the car flipping and going over an embankment, eventually resting on its roof. Certainly spectacular for anyone who viewed the crash, but it was a sobering reminder to all the racers that consequences can be dear with even the slightest inattention. I’m happy to report, however, the driver was unscathed physically (though his beautiful CTS-V was toast) and in a turn of events that defines many a 1 Lapper’s penchant for the wonderfully weird, he purchased a Chrysler Crossfire no more than 3 hours after the crash so that he could finish the event…………Bravo Howard!

As for the rest of the run at the beautiful Road America, Sebastian and I argued (per usual) about who would run when. It was my (and correct) opinion that he should run in the money event in the afternoon, while I run in the morning. The reasoning was simple in that the afternoon run was to determine the start order for the remainder of the week. This essentially means that the higher the placing the earlier we get to run at each successive event; and with an early start also comes an early departure where we don’t have to limp into a hotel at 2am every day. Considering the fact that Sebastian has a fair bit of natural driving talent (despite the dim wit), it simply made sense and after some threats of violence the issue was settled.

I was first up and the butterflies were not so much fluttering, but getting running start kicks to the genitals…….unpleasant. For those unfamiliar with Road America, it’s a big, fast, technical, intimidating track. I was glad to have a mere 190hp on tap as the bg bore, big horsepower cars are rumored to kiss 170mph on the back straight prior to making a hard right. Lucky for me, my sense of self preservation and the measly 190hp would keep me mostly out of trouble. There were a couple moments of worry during the recon lap as I completely missed a few fast transitions, but my lap times were good enough for 43^rd and I kept the car out of the gravel traps; much better than yesterday’s 55^th finish and most important, 1 place ahead of Ric in 44^th!!! Hail to the 1 Lap Champions of Evergreen!

A mid-day break and it was Sebastian’s turn to take a stab. Again, the afternoon runs were to set the remainder of the week’s running order so a lot was at stake. I had no doubts that the result would be good, but it never ceases to amaze me how a seemingly uncoordinated, gangly kid from Detroit can make a car go so quickly. Passing the M3 that started in front of him and gaining a full 25 seconds on another M3 that started TWO places in front of him, Sebastian placed 38^th for the event and landed us in 44^th overall.

It’s currently 8:30pm, we’re almost to Des Moines, IA with 375 of the 650 mile transfer leg behind us. I’m brewing a colon-ary storm to the chagrin of my driving partner, but my gastro-intestinal issues are a righteous response to his incredibly foul smelling feet. How a person at this stage of homo-sapien evolution has hair on the bottoms of their feet is a medical mystery, but I digress.

Tomorrow has us at Mid-America Motorplex in the heartland of heartlands, Iowa. We’ll end the day driving to Oklahoma where I’m hoping our team standing is still ahead of the Team Merlot Magik!

Day 2: I Shouldn't Have Skipped That Day In Class.

2010-05-01T22:20:00.001-07:00

Let's cut to the chase of today's entry and say that I suck at driving. 55th out of 68 was the final result of the wet skidpad. Driving classes and track days have apparently done absolutely nothing to advance my ability to maneuver a car and disappointed as I am, there is still room for optimism. We'll play the full 9 innings and see where we lay a week from tomorrow, but today was certainly a blow to our hopes of coming in the top 30.

The field is full of returning 1 Lappers as well as a few rookie teams. Walking the paddocks would make your typical car guy drool with envy as 911's, M cars, Z06 Vettes, & STI's are lined up like so many rental Camrys. The morning had us roll into The Tire Rack's huge facility where we met up with Ric and Loye and the rest of the 1 Lappers. It was fantastic to see a lot of familiar faces as we prepared for the afternoon's event.

As I mentioned earlier, however, the poor showing has dampened the spirit, but the proverbial full 9 innings have yet to be played. Tomorrow morning brings us to Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin's famous Road America. We'll be running two sessions that will set the running order for the remainder of the week.

The one solace that we have is that Ric apparently played hookie the same day I did, as they finished 64th in the field. Our lead in the race to beat Ric & Loye in Merlot Magik is secure til at least this afternoon. Let's hope that Sebastian can stop talking just for a few minutes to drive Road America without distraction.

Day 1: Constabulatory Avoidance

2010-04-29T21:28:00.000-07:00

We've all had them. Days that simply begin with signs that tell us to remain within the confines of home and watch the sun gently rise on one side of the house and serenely set on the other. Experienced from the comforts of pajamas, the couch, with beer(s), & a bag of chips (preferably jalapeno flavored), few situations are safer or more soothing.

Sign #1 that today was just such a day were immediate as I awoke to a fresh inch of snow knowing that 1300 miles of driving await us. Any other day, a measly inch would hardly necessitate a second thought but as you know, today was our departure for 1 Lap and as such, our friendly neighborhood Polak, Sebastian, had to maneuver his slick-tired Lotus from his house, down a precipitous 2000 feet of twisting tarmac through a snow storm even to get started; sketch, yes.

It's 7am and the expletives between the two of us have already started. I'll say this only because it's true........he's fucking difficult. Nary a hello as he roars into the driveway and barks orders to get my stuff in the car and says we need to stop in Evergreen to get the event-required fire extinguisher; sign #2 indicating pajamas and potato chips would have been a better idea. Unfortunately, the snow was coming down so quickly that we were in danger of being stranded so departure was forced without said extinguisher causing angst among those of us who have excessive hair on their back. Suffice it to say that Sebastian worries too much and said extinguisher was obtained without incident, somewhere in Nebraska.

11am and things are going much smoother as the sun peeked through the clouds and the roads dried to allow care-free driving. Care-free that is if you drive less than 90mph. Sign #3 to stay amongst the pajama'ed appeared in the form of a Nebraska state trooper reminding me that I love my couch. Cruising between 95-100, the brown spec in the horizon that I suspected to be a fine local constabulary was just that.......lucky beyond good fortune, he tucked in behind us right as I slowed to the speed limit. 10 miles........10 miles of nervously glancing in the rear view mirror as I try to hold a very steady 74mph in a car without cruise control is near impossible. Somehow the fuzz pulled off and we continued unscathed. Turns out a mandarin orange Lotus Elise attracts unwanted attention.

3pm and settled in to the buzz, rattle, hum of a plastic car with no sound deadening. Sign #4 appears......literally. "State Patrol Stop for Drug Trafficking". Now understand that Sebastian nor I are regular smokers of the ganja, but I just so happened to have a couple cookies that would certainly get us in trouble. Immediately batting the possibilities back and forth, the "stop" somehow never manifest itself and we moved along without incident.

11pm and we've rolled into a hotel to call it a day. I'm hoping when I wake, that all signs of remaining in pajamas are gone. We're overly excited with what's to come. Our itinerary for tomorrow has us registering, going through tech inspection, and running the first skidpad event in South Bend, IN.

If I were Luke Duke, I'd be screaming "YEEEEHAW!!!"

Prologue

2010-01-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

Excuse my ramblings but I'm freaking excited! If you're reading this, I assume you followed at least a bit of our "progress" from last year's 1 Lap so here we are again; A year later. A year older. A year wiser? Just to set the scenario a bit for this year's car racing festivus, Sebastian (still hairy & still Polish) and I will be entering the event again in a Lotus Elise; though this year in Sebastian's apropos flaming mango orange example.
I would have much preferred to take his very comfortable 997 or even my supremely utilitarian Magnum (hold the jokes please), but alas here we are facing thousands of miles of mind-numbing interstate, frost-heaved back roads, & sinewy ribbons of racetrack in a conspicuous rattlebox approximating a car.

A year ago, we embarked on what I thought would be a one time 1 Lap experience, but it goes without saying that popping the proverbial cherry only whet the appetite. The passed year had Ric (our arch-nemesis in the very beautiful Porsche Boxster S, aka Merlot Magik), Sebastian, and me going to trackdays at every opportunity to get our collective fix as well as hone our skills. Whether those aforementioned skills have actually been improved upon is up for debate, but we're all headed to the 2010 One Lap starting grid out to prove that while our skills may be limited, our inner delinquencies still exist:)

We had no expectations but to have fun and finish the event last year........with success achieved, we've set our sights a bit higher this year, albeit higher than third from last is far from shooting for the moon:) I will again attempt the near impossible task of spending 10 straight days with the Pretentious Polak (sp?) without maiming myself, and in all fairness, Sebastian will attempt the same feat spending copious hours in the drivers seat as I slumber peacefully from racetrack to racetrack. Ric and partner Loye (the Presbytarian minister), with God in tow, will need all the divine intervention to defeat the undisputed and undefeated 1 Lap Champions of Evergreen......Team Poland/Korea. On the wager line is a portrait of the winning team to be displayed proudly in the losing team's living rooms for an entire year! The term "high stakes" barely describes what's on the line.

April 30th is right around the corner so cheers to another memorable event as we crisscross the eastern half of the country avoiding constabularies, visiting many-a-greasy-spoon, seeing odd portions of the countryside, meeting even odder folk, & most of all, searching for racing glory (obviously a euphemism for having our lovely pictures displayed on others' mantles).

Gentlemen.....start your 1.8 liter Toyota powered English go carts made of plastic.

Day 10 - The Checkered Flag + 1100 Miles

2009-05-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

All is hazy and the after effects of adult beverages has taken its toll.

I'll have to come back and finish this entry later.......I feel like poo.

Sunday 6:45pm MST:
Back in Evergreen and this is a retropspective of the drive back as well as the entire week. Starting with yesterday morning, we had one final event with the dry skidpad. If you recall from the first event exactly 7 days prior, we had the same event in the wet skidpad. In all reality this event was a smiple formality for us as our standing would change little, and more importantly for the gentleman's inside bet, our standing vs. Team Iran & Team Canada would remain the same. The day was windy, cold, & damp so after the event, no one wanted to stick around for the awards ceremony.

Sebastian and I said some quick goodbyes and we were off for our 13 hour trek back to beautiful Colorado. I think it may have been mentioned before in this blog, but I'm a terrible transfer driver as my stamina in the driver's seat extends about 3 hours (if that) before I start to fall asleep at the wheel. Luckily, the cumulative fatigue from the week's festivities had me sleep quite soundly for 4 hour stretches while Sebastian plugged away mile after mile.

The short stints that actually had me in a waking state we talked about the incredible experiences and the fantastic people we met during the week. Within that conversation we also discussed the details for next year's event. This event has entered the bloodstream and I have a feeling that it will continue to be an annual highlight for years to come.

With all we've seen and done this week, we'll be back to our 'normal' lives by weekdays' start, which now seems more foreign than normal, but I'm looking forward to the routine as well as getting reunited with my bikes, couch, & local friends.

Thanks to all that helped us through the week, thanks to my co-driver Sebastian, thanks to Ric & Loye for the great laughs, & thanks to 1 Lap for an incredible event.

Happy roads and we'll see y'all next year!

Tony

Day 9 – Thankful & Fortunate

2009-05-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

I was told this morning that Anthony Sloan from Yeti Cycles passed away yesterday evening. I met him only a handful of times, but he was always courteous, smiling, and full of cheer. I’m sorry to hear that he didn’t have more time to enjoy his passions and my condolences go out to his family, friends, and colleagues at Yeti.

The news of Anthony’s passing took me to a bit of introspection as I thought about how fleeting life can be. As I hear the background music of screaming motors going around the track, I’m feeling both grateful for the unbelievable experience that 1 Lap provides as well as (oddly for the first time this week) the fear of dying. As morbid as it was, it was also quite eye-opening to really think it could all be over in a flash.

This week has been an eye opener in the sense that I’ve experienced things that so few will ever have the opportunity to do, much less see. I’ve met people from all walks of life with such a diversity of experience that it’s hard to relate to their daily lives, but at the same time we have so much in common. 1 Lap, it turns out, has such a rich history and such a diverse slice of the social spectrum, it’s hard to believe it nurtures so much comraderie. Yet every “lapper” seems to understand why the others are there. It spans much more than just fast cars and race tracks……..it encompasses competition, friendship, and conflict in such an intensely short period of time, the event becomes more than just the sum of it parts.

Today’s events had us in Pennsylvnia for our last road course. I was up first and still very skittish from the experience at CMP, I was content to just roll around the track at 7/10ths. It’s a short circuit, but challenging due to its many blind corners and hilly terrain. My run was mediocre as I came in 43rd, but I was happy just to keep the tires on the track! Sebastian was up in the afternoon and he came in with a much more competitive 33rd.

With the event coming to a close, I’m definitely looking forward to going home to see Diana, eat some home cooked food, and sleep in my own bed. This evening we’re headed back to South Bend, IN where it all started. The word has it that there is an informal gathering at the hotel where most of the 1 Lappers will share stories of the week and throw back a few adult beverages.

A toast to Anthony.

Day 8 - The Semantics of Crashing

2009-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Having an “off” as it’s known in the motorsports world is somewhere between crashing and simply placing a wheel off the track. What occurred today had more spectacular offs than we had seen all week.

Our agenda placed us at Carolina Motorsports Park in South Carolina at 8am where we were scheduled for two runs on the road course. The morning’s showers left the track quite slick. The slightly adverse conditions made one particular fast corner (taken by the fast guys around 100+ mph) quite precarious. An interesting problem in that the corner could be taken quite quickly, but a slight hump at the apex would unsettle the cars by unweighting the right rear and in combination with the track going slightly to the right would have the cars spinning before the driver knew it.

In the morning sessions there were three spectacular “offs”……a C5 Corvette, a blazingly fast GTI, and a 425hp Dodge Magnum SRT8. Luckily, each came away mostly unscathed…….though egos certainly bruised. Each car spinning and skidding sideways for at least 600 feet……..quite a scary deal going close to 100mph.

Also fortuituous was Sebastian’s first run, as the sun peeked out and the track was able to dry before he rolled on. Fast laps by the front runners were in the mid 5 minute range and Sebastian came in at 6:03……….good enough for our best finish yet at 19th!!

With our friendly rivalry still intact with Team Iran, it was important that we continue pressing. Nick has steadily improved from his earlier efforts and kept up with the middle of the pack with a 6:16. We’re in a commanding lead, but anything can happen.

Second run of the day and it was my turn to buckle in. All day as I studied the race line, I was particularly aware of the bump in the track that sent several racers spinning. In speaking with a few that had run earlier, I was convinced that the Lotus could handle it at full bore……….I couldn’t have been more wrong. Foot to the floor after a long straight and I was in 4th looking at 100mph as I crested the bump and absolutely lost the car. Spinning like a top and STANDING on the brake I saw the crash barrier once…….spin………twice……….spin…………thrice (bracing for impact)……..and a miraculous resting point about 30 feet from the barrier. Crap……..in my pants.

It was a near miracle that the car came out mostly unscathed and I had the one wit remaining to restart the car and get back on the track. I finished with a dismal 6:19, but I was happy to get a time and more importantly, not seeing the car ride away on a flatbed.

Not having much time to even recount the events, Sebastian and I packed up and departed for Spartanburg, SC (about 2.5 hours away) where the next event at the BMW Performance Driving School was being held. A very quick stop with a surprisingly large spectator turnout, this stop had one run and off for a 9 hour drive to Pennsylvania (our 16th state of the event). Sebastian did his usual thing and turned a good time netting us 29th for the event padding our lead a bit more, leaving Team Poland/Korea with an almost insurmountable lead over Team Iran.

It’s now 10pm and we’re still in this pillbox of a car; Sebastian’s hairy backed Polack ass is starting to stink again……….5 more hours to our destination where we’ll have 4 hours of sleep and off the track for our last road course at the famous BeaveRun.

Tony smokes them in Daytona

2009-05-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

We show up in Daytona Beach late yesterday evening, and as we drive by the Daytona International Speed way, we can can't help but be amazed at the sheer size of the complex. The imposing structure helps to grow our anticipation of what awaits us in the morning. As soon as you cross the tunnel and exit out into the infield of the speedway, you are in awe, its as if you we in the middle of the Coliseum. Now, let me assure you that neither Tony or I are fans of the backwood redneck sport (wait, that might actually be a game, as one can do it while drinking a beer, but more on that in a minute) of NASCAR racing, but holy shit is that holy grail of stock car racing ever impressive. It is extremely rare for the general public, let alone hacks like us to drive at Daytona, so this was the first time anyone in our overall group got to drive at the track. Most were intimidated by the long, FAST straights, and the steep banking of the ovals, but all were excited to be present. Tony was up against some steep odds as we eyed the course an the big bore power of most of the machinery at the event. As quick and nimble as the Lotus is, it just doesn't have the horsepower necessary to generate the high speeds the others had in spades. The course had only a short section of technical, tight radius turns, otherwise its a pedal to the metal kind of a race. As he took off chasing after a BMW M-3 driven by team Iran, I was not giving him much of a chance. Much to my dismay, he was gaining on the M-3 (spaced 15 seconds apart at the start) by the middle of lap 1, by lap 3 he gained 13 seconds on the M-3, nearly passing it. The time may be trivial, but when you see it in person, its a true triumph of David over Goliath. Tony finished in 37th position overall! Over lunch, Tony proclaims: "Im not driving anymore today, Im going to treat myself to a delicious beer"......shortly after lunch tough we hopped in the car to do some "victory" laps around the track, before the afternoon race sessions. This was a last minute treat, where we could drive around the track with two people in the car with no helmets or race suits.

As we got to the car, it was decided he should drive and show the details of the track. Little did we know we would actually be following pace cars, and would be allowed to run HOT laps at top speeds. As we entered the first oval, I realized that this was no walk in the park. The oval gets to about three stories high, and is pitched steeply enough that you could not stand on the track. The low windshield of the Lotus makes it impossible to look around the track, so the racing rule of "look where you want to go" does you no good, as you have no clue as to where you are going. To add to all that, the track seems to get smaller as you are going around it, faster and faster and faster......all the while Im shitting a brick, Tony is giggling like a little school girl......I close my eyes, I think Im going to throw up, he's laughing.....I want to pull over and walk back......I go into a complete metal breakdown, while Tony is having the time of his life. We go around six or seven times, reaching speeds of 130-135mph, which feels like a 1000. The ride felt like the most terrifying roller coaster of my life. I announce quickly that there is no way in hell Im driving that course. Disappointing, yes, but self-preservation is more important, and besides we need the points. I'll drive on a flat track tomorrow. Tony gets out there for heat 2, again behind the M-3 from team Iran, and battle two ensues. By lap three, Tony is on the tail of the M-3, Nick not willing to move over is holding onto the lead, but right after they come off the banking at 145mph, Nick hits the brakes early to come into the technical section of the course, while Tony whips around him, holding onto his speed for the crucial extra .5-1 second and passes on his left immediately prior to going into a sharp bend. It was a brilliant move on Tony's part, who drives like he rides a bike (for those of you who dont know him well, he is one of the best). He not only beat the time of a car carrying a 250hp advantage, but he actually passed it.....on a track where the Lotus should have come in the back of the pack. Tony managed a 31st overall position with that incredible win!!! Our team moves into 36th overall position in the standings, thanks to the incredible driving skills and fearless attitude of my driving partner. Now, back to that game/sport discussion.....it dawned on us as we were leaving the track at the end of the day, that he did all of this after drinking over lunch......NASCAR=game

2009-05-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

The day at Sebring exceeded the lofty expectations Tony and I had set for it. The moment you pull up to the paddock, you see the names of the famous drivers that have made the track what it is, a world famous endurance racing facility. Nothing like looking forward to racing on a track that has turns and bends named after Fangio, Gurney and Cunningham.......especially given our skill set.

Tony, for all of his self deprecating comments, smoked it today. He made me a little nervous shortly after the start of lap 2, as all I could see in the distance was a cloud of flying sand, the exact place that I was having a hard time with during my morning race session. Thankfully, the sand cloud parted and out came a little blue Lotus. Tony, in all his madness, slid off the track into the sand, but did the exact opposite of what your are supposed to do, and kept in the throttle, steering and powering his way out of a sand trap. Of course, he did it again, though to a slighly lesser degree on lap 3.......then went on to finish the race in a fantastic time.

The fine showing at the track was celebrated by Tony by eating an entire bag of Fried Onion snacks, which may have been fried, but there was nothing organic in that bag. Unlike his previous near hear attack from overeating McDonalds hamburgers, this might have just slightly increased his heart rate. This was of course right after the car's A/C stopped working in the mid-day Florida heat. That may explain why Tony felt compelled to cruise at over 100mph on the public highways.....the air buffeting into the cabin would have felt cool, had it not first been super heated by the exhaust coming off the super heated bullet we were riding in.

The other super storied track of the One Lap, Dayota is coming up tomorrow. The thought of the banked ovals of that raceway alone, conjure horror thoughts in my mind. I may need a trick from the Tony book of driving......have a drink, better yet several to calm the nerves.

Day 5 - Fatigue Has Set In

2009-05-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

Deprivation from sleep, friends, loved ones, good food, sex, daily routine, & bikes has made both Sebastian and me quite cantankerous at times. Throw in the fact that we've driven 2500 miles in an obnoxiously loud tin can of a car, and one can understand that I'm ready to set Sebastian on fire and he's ready to kill me in my sleep.

Fortunately for us both, the driving events have been phantasmagorical and continue to whet our appetites for the next day's events. This morning had us at the Talladega GP Speedway road course where both of us had the opportunity to run. I was up first and as I sat in the pit's staging area, the rain's sprinkles turned to droplets turned to outright rain. Regardless of the rain, officials sent us out and I had, what I thought was a great run for my very limited abilities. A lap and a half in, my windshield wiper quit working and without Sebastian's brilliant move to Rain-X the windshield I would have surely stuffed the car. The bigger highlight for me however, was the fact that I actually passed a car that had started 15sec ahead. Ecstatic, I handed the keys to the tall Polack for his run a couple hours later.

Sebastian's run was a bit less wet, but the conditions were still far from perfect. As I've stated in the past, from first glance he looks awkward & buffoonish, but the man can drive!! He lopped a massive 16 seconds from my time and we ended the day just 4 spots down from where we stood at the start of the day.

Tomorrow brings us to an internationally reknowned track in Sebring, FL. Hopefully we can hold our spot at 40th.

Day 4 - Back On Track

2009-05-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

As much as I like to complain about my co-pilot's idiosyncrasies, I have to give him credit for being able to drive. Our agenda today held an a.m. autocross in Kentucky and an oval event in Tenessee in the p.m. It was our hope that we'd regain a few of the positions that I had lost the afternoon before and position ourselves midpack.

The morning started out with much anticipation and as the top runners attacked the course, we were all really able to see what very good drivers can do with very fast cars. Most impressive were the predictably fast front running GTR & 911 GT2, but the most memorable for me was the Impreza WRX that seemed like it was tuned to within a centimeter of its life. Sounding like a small jet, it burped and whooshed its way through the course to come in an unbelievable 2nd in the autocross. Considering the seriously fast and exotic machinery littering the lineup, the very ordinary looking Subie more than held its own in this very tough crowd.

With the fast guys having gone through their first of three runs, Sebastian eventually came through the lineup and did our team proud as he pulled a very respectable time just 4 seconds behind the leaders. Of course there were two more laps to go and with the first run likely being a recon lap for the fast guys, the times were sure to drop. And drop they did, as by the end of the event, the winning time was 38 seconds and change. Sebastian finished with a very respectable 44.46 seconds that netted an impressive 24th for the event.

Ric/Loye also posted a very fast time (for hacks) of 45.26 seconds which left them in 31st for the event. Nick also posted a very good time of 47.23 that was good for 46th.

Pumped and looking forward to the next event, we quickly packed and headed the ~250 miles south to the oval. Unfortunately, weather did not cooperate and the event was cancelled as we showed up at the track. On the bright side, much of the field gathered at a nearby gas station for a couple hours til the official cancellation word came from the track officials.........the comraderie was fantastic as most of the drivers mingled and shared stories of how they arrived at this year's 1 Lap.

So the end of the day had us driving another 250 miles to Alabama where we laid up for the night in prep for the event at Talladega.

The day's overall standings had Ric/Loye overtake Nick/Farid, and Sebastian/Tony regaining a bit of ground. The day's end also had Ric, Loye, Sebastian and me going over the day's events over dinner.............as you can see from the pic below, Ric is obviously recounting a very tall tale of lurid powerslides with a supermodel cheering section (Loye and I are listening, albeit incredulously:)

End of day standings...

1) Team Poland/Korea - 37th (445pts)

2) Team Canada/Oh Canada - 54th (230pts)

3) Team Iran - 57th (170pts)

Day 3 - Stuffing is for turkeys

2009-05-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

Two events, two drivers, one unscathed car. I awoke this morning with the hopes of simply making it through the day without either of us crashing the car. Considering my past endeavors at race tracks and some shortened track days due to unfortunate mishaps, I did my best to stem myopic tendencies and understand crashing today would mean watching from the sidelines for the remainder of the week.

The morning was full of anticipation as we started the day with the wet skidpad event. For those unfamiliar, it's a discipline that tests how many g forces one can pull around a wet circular "track"; picture driving as fast as possible in a wet round-about. With Sebastian in the driver's seat, I was confident we'd be off to a good start. He didn't disappoint as we left South Bend in 36th place. And as lame as that may sound, considering we were shooting for 58th, it was a fantastic finish.

By 11am, we were off to Joliet, Il where we'd experience the first road course. At this point, I began to feel the pressure as it was my turn to show my mettle (or lack thereof). As it turns out, the 2 hour wait to get on the track was more difficult than the 5 minutes and 58 seconds it took for me to complete three laps of this stellar track. Times proved that I wasn't quite as good as Sebastian's placing but we lost only 4 spots to end the day in 40th place.

A quick farewell to Ric/Loy & Nick/Farid and we were Audi 5000 (an interesting 80's American colloquialism denoting departure according to Tony's Urban Dictionary) and off to Cincinati, OH.

At the end of the day, we all made it through with no more damage than some slightly bruised egos and the anticipation of 7 more days of racing.

With egos & sidebets on the line, the scorecard reads:

1. Team Poland/Korea - 40th overall

2. Team Iran - 56th overall

3. Team Canada/Oh Canada - 58th overall

It's too early to tell who'll end where, but we're off to an early lead!

Day 2 - RAGE...

2009-05-01T15:29:00.000-07:00

...as defined by Merriam-Webster is "violent and uncontrolled anger". Such was the theme of the remainder of our drive from Iowa to Indiana this morning. To preface, I can understand how irksome poor driving ettiquette can be........we have all experienced the offenders; left lane lingerers, tailgaters, agressive drivers, lack of consideration is rampant. We also all seem to take these experiences in stride as there's really little to do and in all reality getting somewhere a few minutes earlier is hardly worth the angst of road rage.

Oddly enough, my lovely co-driver Sebastian, as collected he may be in everyday life, turns into a road-rager of epic proportion. Suffice it to say..........I may have to insist on driving the public legs of the remainder of the race to keep sanity intact for us both.

With all that said, we did eventually make it to South Bend where we re-united with our Evergreen nemeses Ric & Loye in their Porsche Boxster and Nick & Farhid in their BMW M3. The sheer amount of crazy machinery was something to see.........everything from old school Porsche 930's to high tech Cadillac CTS-V's & Nissan GTR's with the most unique possibly being a 1948 Plymouth Coupe with the gnarliest exhaust note I've heard in some time. (You can see all the cars at Motor Trend's site dedicated to the race at motortrend.com/onelap)

Some good natured jabs were batted back and forth over lunch with our buddies after we went through registration, tech inspection, and receiving our packet of car stickers that makes our car even more conspicuous. Hopefully we can duck the local constabularies, but my hopes are pretty low on that one.

Tomorrow the event officially starts with the Wet Skid Pad Challenge here in South Bend. We've decided that with Sebastian's superior driving skills (note the emphasis on driving and driving only:) he'll be in the saddle for this event. Shortly after our run, we'll be on the open road, backtracking a bit to Joliet, IL (Autobahn Country Club) for our first road course event later in the dat at which point we'll turn around and be on our way to Kentucky for the following day's autocross event. So the race starts in earnest tomorrow and there's much to anticipate........we're giddy like school girls.........without the pigtails.

Objects Are Closer Than They May Appear Goddamnit

2009-04-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Day 1

I love my car.

I love driving.

I love road trips.

I love the anticipation of what's to come.

I hate discomfort.

I hate smelly gas station bathrooms.

I hate Sebastian (sometimes).

I hate objects that are closer than they appear.

I'm sure all can understand the majority of points above, but the one item

that really stuck me today was the object. In specific, the object that may

be closer than it appears. Yesterday I sat looking at the map

thinking.......Indiana........just a mere 18 hours away. It turns out that 18

hours in a Lotus Elise is not pleasurable; even less so with a tall, hairy,

loquacious, fermenting Polack as co-pilot. Suffice it to say, we made it as

far as Iowa and we have 5 hours remaining as I write this.

A mostly uneventful day with most of the time cruising along at 90mph

(averaging an unbelievable 28mpg) and passing the time by trying to

tally the near endless number of late 90's Mercury Sables......almost all

of them in gold.

Spirits are still good and ambitions still high. For those we didn't tell

prior to leaving, we have a gentlemen's bet amongst the three teams

from Evergreen. The short of it has the two losing teams hanging a

picture (of the winning team in full race regalia) in their respective living

rooms for an entire year!

Cheers to coming third from last!!!

2009-04-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

A bit of background on our mode of transport:

2005 Lotus Elise
Next to no storage
Passenger seat is 2/3 the size of the driver's seat
Radio sucks
Heater sucks
A/C sucks
Great track car.......terrible commuter

I would have liked to take the station wagon, but outside influences forced me to take this car:/

1 Lap Eve

2009-04-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

Here I sit. The night before the most ridiculous event that I have had the pleasure to participate. While I sit here and contemplate the possibilities, let me preface by stating that I have, for many years, wanted to participate in what is known to most as the Cannonball Run. Made infamous via the movie of the same name, its current incarnation is titled the One Lap of America. Just a brief history, but the original "Cannonball Baker Sea to Shining Sea Memorial Trophy Dash" was an outlaw race from NYC to Redondo Beach, CA; held four times during the 70's. As most could probably imagine, this literal cross country race threw caution and prudence to the wind, so with law enforcement's eventual gentle nudge and the desire for the spirit of the race to continue, the event evolved into a timed endurance rally in which teams drive from race track to race track. Each track hosts a time trial with teams driving for the lowest cumulative time.

With all that said, in the fall of '08, amongst a few friends and a few more beers I suggested that we register for the One Lap. Knowing that all agreements made whilst drinking are null and void the next day, I was confident that no one would hold me to the suggestion. Needless to say, here we are...........to my dismay, registered and hardly ready to go.

Our route takes us from our homes in Evergreen, CO to:

Joliet, IL - Autobahn Country Club
Florence, KY - Turfway Park
Greenbrier, TN - Highland Rim Raceway
Talladega, AL - Talladega Grand Prix Raceway
Sebring, FL - Sebring International Raceway
Gainesville, FL - Gainesville Raceway
Daytona Beach, FL - Daytona International Speedway
Kershaw, SC - Carolina Motorsports Park

8 days, more than 4000 miles and a lot of time in the saddle. I'll be updating hopefully on a daily basis assuming I don't kill my co-driver, Sebastian.

Good luck to our comrades from Evergreen..........Ric, Loy, & Nick.